Mischievous Experiments: Helping the Cubs?

Daddy said that the Cubs were not playing well.* So I thought I would try an experiment to help.

I gots my favorite Cubs ball and took it upstairs.

Then I punched a hole in my favorite ball to illustrate their season so far. This was a very difficult sacrifice for me!

Next, I took the stuffings out so that the Cubs would be motivated to work hard to get them all back in. I was even planning to eats some and get barfy to assure the utmost level of Cubs sympathy. Surely they care about a little dog with no tail and his Cubs ball, right? My thinking was that the experiment would find out. If they start winning, my Cubbie Ball sacrifice shredding worked!

But then Mommy didn’t let me eats any stuffing, and fed it all to the kitchen can. I don’t think the kitchen can cares at all about the Cubs. I hope that doesn’t ruin my experiment. I guess we will wait and see.

Results to be posted at a later date.

*Daddy used stronger words for this that I won’t republish on my family doggie friendly bloggy space. Shame on Daddy!

Mischievous Experiments: Football Deconstructification

I haven’t been scienterrific in awhile, so I decided to fix that. The inside of my football is fluffy and white, so I decided to do a taste test comparison between it and snow. Snow is very tasty, so I thought maybe I would discover a new snack source. If so, I would name it the snowball snack!

I carefully deconstructified the football and proceeded with the taste test as planned.

It didn’t taste nice like snow, but I ate quite a bit in hopes that it would improve.

But then I didn’t feel very good. Next thing I knew, I was at the Dr. throwing up my football. That wasn’t how I planned to spend my day. So, my expert scienterrific opinion is that footballs should be played with and not eaten. I hope this advice saves the rest of you some future troubles.

Although maybe it is only Bears footballs that taste bad? Maybe my squeaky football would taste better?

Mischievous Experiments: Ropey Crafts

I decided that I didn’t need my baby ropey toy anymore, so I decided to take it apart and make stringies from it. Stringies are useful for all sorts of doggie craft projects. For example, I likes to use them as carpet decorations to make the roombas smile. Or, if you eats them, they turn your poops into pretty colors.

The Initial dismantling was coming along rather well. Soon, my roomba friends would revel in the new carpet decor!

But then Mommy got her own crafty ideas and decorated the round can by the sink with the stringies instead. I thinks they would have looked better decorating the carpet.

Mischievous Experiments: Bally Dissecticamations

I needed to find out if a secret substance was inside of my orange tennis bally. It was a very important classyfried mission, critical to little dog with no tail security. You will have to trust me on that.

I carefully took off its skin. I started to eat it to hide evidence of the dissecticamation, but Mommy found it and took it away. I don’t think she told anyone about the secret mission though. I hopes not!

Inside was a gray rubbery substance.

It wasn’t what I was looking for, so I ate it. Or most of it anyway before Daddy saw it and took it. I don’t know why he wanted it—it didn’t taste all that good anyway.

Mischievous Experiments: Woodworking

For my latest experiment, I decided to try my hand teeths at woodworking. I thoughts maybe that, if I was successful at carving wood, I could help Mommy and Daddy remodel the kitchen. Things got off to a good start and I discovered that my teeths are very good at removing paint. My teeths can even remove drywall too!

Ultimately, however, the experiment failed. After awhile Mommy showed up with a strange bottle of liquid and sprayed it on the wood. That interrupted my experiment. The stuff stinks!

I don’t understand why, but working on my experiment is rather uncomfortable now. I will probably have to abandon it.