What is this hose doing here?

There is a new leash trapping me in the bathtub. HELLLLLLP!!!!!

Daddy gots a new Handy Groomer sprayer and it really works! HELLLLLLLP!!!!!!

At least Mommy gots me new smelly shampoo so I can smell like tropical flowers while I dry in the sun.

Mommy and Daddy found what they think are the best water torture devices ever because they spray both soapy water and regular water all over little dogs with no tails. So Secretary Mommy is linking to them below. She says that these are little dog with no tail affiliate links, which means that I will gets monies if you buy something using the links so that I can pay for my bloggy space and maybe a boney chewy treat or two (or fourteen) . But I don’t recommend that you buy the torture devices because I thinks that water torturing little dogs with no tails is not very polite. If you buy anything, use the links to get to the store and buy treats instead!

My Mommy has her very own bloggies at Beauty and Fashion Tech, Girl Gloss, and Holiday Makeup about cosmetics. That is a fancy word for the funny face paints that Mommy likes. I would like face paints too, but I’m just a little dog with no tail and Mommy won’t let me wear makeup. She wasn’t very happy that time I ate her lip gloss either.

Anyway, Mommy joined a shoppings site called OpenSky as a shopkeeper! OpenSky connects shoppers with experts and the products they love and use.  At OpenSky, expert “shopkeepers” recommend and stock their favorite items—items that they can stand behind because they truly love and highly recommend them. I’m so exciteds that my Mommy is an expert!

I looked and I didn’t see any shops for little dogs with no tails, but there are lots of neat shops on gardening, and I am an avid gardener dog with my very own earthworm farms! I also saw food and cooking shops there, and everyone knows that little dogs with no tails really like to eat!

Just to be sure that his post isn’t all about Mommy, and because little dogs with no tails don’t share very well, and that includes sharing bloggy spaces, here is a picture of me with one of my own garden earthworm farms. Maybe Mommy will buys me and the earthworms some garden toys for it from OpenSky.

Anyhoo, Please come and check out Mommy’s shop and the other shops at OpenSky. You can find Mommy’s shop here: Beauty and Fashion Tech on OpenSky.

But then, something terrible happened. Instead of entering the big door into the wonderful magical puppy toy place, we went into a different door–a scary door–the groomer torture people door.

The mean groomer torture people made Mommy leave us there and then all kinds of bad things happened. They pushed my paws and cutted my puppy nails, just when I had ground them perfectly sharp. Then they dunked me in water and sprayed me all over with it, and put stinky stuff on me that got all soapy.  They kept asking me what was wrong and if I could be a good puppy, but I isn’t no puppy spy and I had no information to give them for their torture! Or maybe I was being punished for stealing the Molly’s chewy bone or Mommy’s shoe? Either way, I gots so upset that I puked—twice! They were nicer to me after that, but then they still put me in a scary cage with a hot air blowing on me while they called my Mommy and allowed her to come pick me up. When she came for me I was so happy to see her! But then they made her pay moneys to take us home! I’m glad Mommy bailed us out!

They did give us kind of cool scarves though, and that torture stuff kind of made us smell good too. Maybe they felt bad for torturing innocent doggies and did that to repay us? Here is the Molly wearing her new scarf:

I gots a scarf too, but it is littler than the Molly’s:

I do kind of likes my scarf, but I hopes Mommy never takes me into that groomer door again!

P.S. The Molly actually seemed to like the torture! She was all happy about it. I think there is something wrong with my big sister. Or maybe she really is a doogie spy for the groomer people and turned me into them for stealing her chewy bone and Mommy’s shoe! I think she tricked Mommy into the whole thing! What do you think?